Newsone Satire Essays

The page, created within hours of his announcement, raised over $100,000 but was removed shortly afterwards (Screenshot)

After Egypt President Abdul Fattah al-Sisi said he would sell himself to help his country’s economy, Egyptians set up a satirical eBay auction page to poke fun at his comments.

"Hey world, we decided to sell the infamous Egyptian Field Marshal and military coup leader Mr Abdel Fattah al-Sisi on eBay to bail out the Egyptian economy - so you don't have to," says the page’s description box.

"We are doing it for him, for us and for humanity. Please, bid now to help Egypt gain its political and economic independence. And hey, maybe you can follow and sell your sell-out leaders on eBay like us. You will not regret it!"

The page, created within hours after his announcement, raised over $100,000 but was removed shortly afterwards.

Sisi made the comments during a speech on a state-run television channel to unveil his economic blueprint, Vision 2030.

The country has faced a dramatic reduction in foreign investment and tourism has greatly dwindled as unrest has gripped the country. It also suffers from high unemployment.

The eBay page was created by “dr_motown,” who wrote that Sisi was in a “slightly used” condition. The page also said that his “previous owners” were “Gulf royals” and added that he “may not be shipped to Qatar”.

In a report running under the headline “Matt Lauer Throws Megyn Kelly Under the Bus,” The New York Post’s Page Six reports that Lauer isn’t exactly rushing to defend his fellow “Today” host Kelly as she endures a rocky start for her hour of the NBC morning show.

“When an industry insider remarked to Lauer last week that celebrities are being advised to avoid Kelly’s ‘Megyn Kelly Today’ — amid ratings struggles and awkward snafus with famous guests — a Page Six spy overheard Lauer reply that he ‘gets it,’ adding, ‘It’s a big problem for them,’ meaning Kelly’s show. Insiders were stunned that the veteran ‘Today’ host didn’t try to defend his new colleague.”

Kelly’s biggest problem appears to be hanging onto viewers, but other issues since her recent debut have included tech gaffes and issues with celebrity guests Jane Fonda and Debra Messing.

“In September — just two days into her run as host of the 9 a.m. hour of ‘Today’ — Kelly upset Fonda by bringing up the actress’ plastic surgery past,” The Post reports. “Messing said that she ‘regretted’ appearing on the show after an awkward moment during which Kelly asked a ‘superfan’ audience member, ‘Is it true that you became a lawyer, and you became gay, because of [co-star Eric McCormack’s character] Will?’”

Meanwhile, Kelly’s soft ratings may be affecting “Kathie Lee & Hoda.”

The Post quotes a source saying: “This week was the lowest Kathie and Hoda have rated since 2010. It keeps getting worse. Megyn is killing them. It is a real problem and no one wants to book Megyn’s show.”

For its part, “Today” was downplaying any drama. The report quotes a rep for the show saying: “Sounds like a few troublemakers are trying to stir up drama where there just isn’t any. Everyone’s doing just fine at the ‘Today’ show.”

“Megyn Kelly Today” (NBC)

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